This winter was as any other winter in Ireland damp, cold and rainy. We were lucky to have our cozy apartment and our jobs and everything that kept life as comfortable as possible for the season. However the Irish government had decided to wreck our heads and make us feel bad about a life that we normally would feel quite normal about. The strict restrictions and the way they stripped people of any sense of freedom as a normal human being in a democratic society have left me psychologically unstable. Instead of feeling grateful for the things that I had, I was feeling bitter and resentful. I have no obligation or desire to be apologetic about the frustration I felt. The severe and prolonged lockdown measures felt like a punishment for a problem that I didn’t cause and have never contributed to.
As a result at the arrival of spring I felt numb. I didn’t feel the same sense of renewal, as I did last spring. I didn’t even feel like taking pictures that much. I was frankly a bit damaged. The only access to nature that I had for months was a walk in the several parks near my apartment and even they could rarely relax me enough. I have these images from these times of desperate need to reconnect with nature and heal my soul.
Milena Penkova 